Wanted: Comic Relief

For those of you who need of comic relief, I highly recommend Wait Wait...Don't Tell Me. This week's edition is especially funny!

Alien drugs

Wow. Apparently President Bush is concerned that drugs imported from Canada might really be coming from a third world. Huh, is he thinking Venus or Mars?

Do you smell something?

I love this quote from Chuck D (formerly of hip-hop group Public Enemy), taken from an interview in Mother Jones Magazine:Of course voting is useful. But then again, I don't put a big glow to it. Voting is about as essential as washing yourself. It's something you're supposed to do. Now, you can't go around bragging, expecting to get props because you voted. That's stupid. You don't see people running around trying to get props because they washed up. "I washed today! I took a shower today!"But if you don't vote, you can't go around if something goes wrong saying, "Aw man, stuff just stinks!" Well yeah, something stinks because you ain't smelled yourself. You supposed to take a shower, dude, or you gon' stink! The hip-hop nation is supposed to vote, because if they don't, something's gonna stink: The draft gets voted in, cats get pulled off to war, the average person is gonna get shot up.

Oktoberfest!!!

Oh how I wish I were at Oktoberfest again this year. It started on September 18 in Munich and lasts until Oktober 3. There one can see a wide variety of German stereotypes reinforced, such as people sitting around in big halls getting drunk, lederhosen and of course the waitress carrying eight huge beersteins at once.The Oktoberfest website also has a cool game on it. You have to milk 4 unruly cows wielding bats, but if you don't hurry and their bags get too full they die. It's awesome!I also found out that as a grad student at Binghamton I can spend some time in Leipzig! Yeah! I'll be in Germany again sooner or later. If Bush gets re-elected, I hope it's sooner.

Just Say YES!

I love the Yes Men. I want to emulate them. They rock my world, from being on the campaign trail for Bush, getting signatures to reinstate the draft and take from the poor and give to the rich, to solving world hunger, to spreading the message of captain euro. And if you ever need a phallic monitor to watch your sweatshop employees (ensuring they don't waste time on such things like going to the bathroom or getting up to stretch their legs, or heaven forbid talking to each other to organize for collective bargaining) while you are on vacation in the Bahamas, they are the guys you need to talk to. Don't worry ladies, you can get one, too!

Save the environment- get out and walk (or take the bus)

So the other day I was following an old car up a hill that was spitting out black smoke. It had a bumper sticker on it that said "Save the Environment". Right.I think any bumper stickers that have anything to do with the environment should be outlawed due to the sheer hipocracy of the idea. Don't get me wrong, I have a car and spit out my share of CO2 emissions, but I would never put a bumper sticker that says "Save the Environment" on my car. That's like putting a bumper sticker on a cattle truck that says "Go Veg" or one that says "Buy American" on my Volvo. Duh.

New Dan Bern CD!

I think I must be catching whatever dark_zephyr has that causes her to order things on the internet. I just ordered Dan Bern's new CD My Country II. Yeah!! New Dan Bern songs to listen to. And I hate Bob Dylan, so if anyone says he sounds like Bob Dylan I'll have to kick you, or something.Another sign dark_zephyr's contagious consumption patterns are affecting me, I bought three, count 'em three, bottles of wine this weekend. I haven't bought a single bottle in at least four or five years. I am trying to convince myself that it's a good thing since I am supporting local producers and this fits in line with my attempt to consume more calories that are produced within a 100-mile radius of where I live. Right.